Unbroken
by Hafl
Summary: June is still the troublemaker at school and Felicity still worries about her. June/Felicity, Alicia/Betty
1. 01 Fight

When she returned from yet another detention, the last person June wanted to see was Felicity Rivers waiting for her. Since she had become the head of the Fourth Form, Felicity also got into the habit of lecturing June every time she got herself in trouble. Now that the end of term was approaching, June had already learnt all those speeches by heart and could recite them word-by-word.

„So what was it today, June?" asked Felicity, as if she did not know.

„You know it perfectly well, Felicity," said June, „It's because I gave that pipsqueak what she deserved. And you know just as well that she was long overdue for someone to box her ears."

„She might have, but that is not for you to decide and in any case, you had no right to do it," said Felicity, „Now listen…"

As Felicity started her usual speech about responsibility and obeying the teachers, June stopped paying attention. It was sad how those years at Malory Towers changed Felicity. In their first years, she used to be so much fun to be around, but now she was almost as bad with her nagging as Susan. Though June had to admit that even if Felicity's personality had changed for the worse, her looks changed for the better. Now that autumn term was coming to an end and all the girls had to separate for holidays, June was actually looking forward to seeing how much had Felicity changed over that time.

„Now June," said Felicity, „do try to behave better next time. How are the kids supposed to respect us, when you treat them like rubbish?"

„Felicity," said June, „Shut up."

The effect was immediate, as Felicity's cheeks reddened and her eyes flashed. While Felicity did not possess the temper that made her sister famous, there were things that could make her flare up and disrespecting her new dignity was one of them. "June!" she cried out, "You know you're not supposed to talk like that at school!"

"See if I care," said June, "You're becoming a nag just like Susan. You used to be able to appreciate a joke, now you're so prim and proper the Mistresses could take lessons from you."

"Well, if you weren't always so self-centred," retorted Felicity, "You'd notice that I never try so hard to help the others-"

"Because they do not need it, right?" said June, "Because they're already up to your lofty standards, aren't they?"

"No-" started Felicity.

June cut her off, "Then why is it, Felicity? Have they already told you off?"

"Because I worry about you," said Felicity, "You always get into scrapes like this, when you don't have to. Though now I don't see why I bothered. You clearly don't want anyone to worry about you."

"If I wanted your help or your concern, Felicity Rivers," said June, "I would have asked for it. In the meantime, you can mind your own business."

"Then if you want to be left alone so badly," said Felicity, "You no longer have to bother to come and talk to me and Susan, since we're going to mind our own business from now on."

With this, Felicity started to stride off towards the dormitory, leaving June standing in front of Miss Potts' office. This had certainly gotten out of hand. Just as June pulled herself together, the door to the office opened and Miss Potts looked out.

"I did not mean to eavesdrop June, but you girls were hard not to overhear," she said, "I'm afraid you're to blame here, Felicity cares about you and you have hurt her. However, if you sincerely apologise, you may still have not lost her friendship. Admit it, and everything should be like before. Do you understand, June?"

Although defiance rose up inside her, June was not in the mood to pick another fight, so she just listened demurely, as if she were accepting the blame. She nodded.

"Very well then, June," said Miss Potts, "Bedtime's coming, so you'd better hurry and get back to the dormitory."

With that, Miss Potts closed the door and left June to return to dormitory. When June arrived there, the girls were already getting ready to go to sleep and nobody paid June much attention. Felicity was pointedly ignoring her and Susan followed her lead, even though she seemed to be a little confused by it.

June did not apologise. She and Felicity did not speak a single word to each other, not even "Good morning" or "Good night" until they went home for the holidays.


	2. 02  Holidays

June had to admit that the last few days before holidays were rather trying. The other girls had never liked her that much and with Felicity stubbornly not talking to her, June was all alone.

Returning home for the holidays was a welcome change, although June had never liked her family much. Not only she was the youngest child in a family, where all her cousins seemed to have predisposition for sometimes cruel jokes, but her own personality seemed to make matters worse. She chafed against the rules and regulations set by her own parents and family almost as much as against those at Malory Towers. Every clash with her parents, uncles, aunts and cousins brought forward a new wave of contrariness.

This year, the entire Johns family gathered at Alicia's home to celebrate Christmas and New Year and June felt almost as if she were an intruder like Betty, who had once again decided to spend the holidays with Alicia, instead of her own family.

However, even June was aware of the sharp change in atmosphere two days before New Year's Eve. Alicia suddenly became much quieter, keeping to herself and not joking with her brothers, who spent all the time behaving like schoolboys and not grown men, many with university degrees. Betty became almost invisible and June's uncle and aunt seemed worried about something.

A day after that, June stumbled upon Betty sitting on the stairs to the attic looking glum. "Betty?" said June.

At first, Betty seemed confused. Then her eyes found June and she smiled so faintly June had to strain her excellent eyesight to see it in the surrounding gloom. "Oh, it's you, June. Do you need something?" she said.

"No, nothing," replied June, "I was just surprised to see you here, that's all."

"I see," said Betty, "Do you have a little time? Come here and sit down. Don't worry, the step is clean."

Perplexed, June climbed up the stairs and sat down beside Betty. Not that she could look at Betty from closer range, June saw that her eyes were red, as if she was crying recently. "What's wrong?" asked June, "You seem different that usual."

"Say, June, would you hate me, if I told you that Alicia might drop out of St. Andrews because of me?"

"What?" said June, "What happened?"

"Oh, you know, Alicia and I got drunk, did something foolish and silly and your uncle and aunt caught us. Now her father wants Alicia to drop out of school and find a job or marry, because I'm a bad influence on her," said Betty.

"Now, you know Alicia," continued Betty, "Even when it was her father saying this, she wasn't going to take it calmly. They had a fight and Alicia all but made up her mind to leave home and your uncle is all ready to throw her out of the house and disown her. And all that happened because I was stupid and careless."

Betty sighed. June was completely speechless. She had no trouble believing Alicia capable of leaving home, but it was almost too much. Both of the stayed silent for a minute or two and then Betty spoke again, "You really do not know how good you have it at Malory Towers, June."

"Really?" asked June, "It's all rules and lectures on good behaviour there, you should know that. Seems to me, that you have it so much better. If I got drunk like you did, I would have been expelled from Malory Towers the very same day."

"Oh, June," said Betty, "You just don't know how good a life you have there."

"Don't treat me like a little kid," said June, "If you do, I'm not going to keep you company, no matter how much you beg."

"Sorry, June," said Betty, "You're right."

"Then tell me the whole story," said June, "You didn't even bother to hide that there's something you're not telling me."

Betty hesitated. Then she smirked. "Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. I don't see how telling you could do any more damage."

She paused and took a deep breath. "I love Alicia. Your uncle caught us when I was kissing her and he blames me for corrupting Alicia."

"And aren't you to blame?" asked June, saying the first thing she could form into a sentence.

"Did you ever see me take the lead when with Alicia," said Betty, "No, it was all her doing. Not that I had any complaints or wasn't happy. She asked me out, she kissed me, and everything after that; she always started everything. And when I started something for once, it spoiled everything."

Betty sighed again. Just at that moment, Alicia appeared in the corridor below them. She looked upwards and smiled upon seeing June and Betty. "Betty, I was looking for you. I didn't expect seeing you with June," she said.

"I just finished packing my things and I suppose I needed some company," said Betty.

"Betty was just telling me what happened between you and uncle," said June, "You do not have to hold back in front of me."

"Is that so?" said Alicia and started climbing the stairs, "Then you know I'm going to leave home? Father still wants to give me last chance, but I'm not going to take it. I should ask Darrell for Gwendoline's address and write dear Gwen to ask for tips on finding job as a secretary."

While she was talking, Alicia reached the top of the stairs and sat down, taking Betty's hand into hers and smiling. "Well, since we have you here, June, why don't you tell us what's new at Malory Towers?"

June frowned. "Nothing much," she said, "It's like before."

"Did something happen?" asked Betty.

"It doesn't matter," said June, "You two have bigger problems than I do, and even I can see that."

"Why, you did grow up over those two years," said Alicia, "Malory Towers seems to have done some good for you after all."

"Not much," said June, "Anyway, it doesn't seem like it had gave you an idea of what to do now."

"Oh," said Alicia, "And do you have any solution?"

"Yes," said June, "It's simple: just lie."

"What?" said Betty.

"Just tell uncle that he's right. Betty will go home and you'll tell uncle that you've broken up and that he was right all along. You'll have to find different places to stay at St. Andrews, but that's all."

"June," said Alicia, "I can't lie to my father, not even now."

"Why not?" asked June, "You'll be just doing it until you get your degree. After that, you can just tell uncle that he can go to hell."

"June!" exclaimed Alicia, but Betty squeezed her hand and she calmed down. "June," she continued, "That's deceitful and cowardly."

"So what?" said June, "If you get what you want without hurting anybody, what does it matter if you're a coward?"

"Alicia," said Betty, "It might not be that bad idea after all. I don't want you to lose your chances at St. Andrews just because of me."

"I don't want to be a lying coward," said Alicia.

"Being brave only gets you in trouble," said June, "I should know. Lying only gets you in trouble if you're found out."

She stood up. "Think about it," she said and turned to leave.

"June, wait," said Betty, "You haven't told us what's happened to you."

"I just had a fight with Felicity, that's all," said June and walked away, leaving the two young women to talk the matter over.

Betty left that evening. The next morning, Alicia had a private talk with her father and he looked positively jubilant that Alicia had bowed down to his will. Upon seeing that, June stopped feeling even vaguely guilty that she had suggested that Alicia should lie to her father.

The evening before the holidays ended, there was a knock on June's door and Alicia entered the guest bedroom. "June," she said, "Do you have a moment?"

"Yes," said June, "Do you need something?"

"I wanted to talk to you about Felicity," said Alicia.

"Sorry, Alicia. I don't need to talk about that," said June.

"You helped me and Betty," said Alicia, "I want to repay you if possible."

"We just had a fight, that's all," said June.

"If you just had a fight, you wouldn't be moping like that," said Alicia, "I know you, you're not the moping type."

"We just had a fight," repeated June, "There's nothing more to it."

"Right then, I won't pry," said Alicia, "But June, don't be foolish."

"I never am," said June, "Don't worry, Alicia."

Alicia left and the next day, Alicia was bound back for St. Andrews and June for Malory Towers.


	3. 03 Impasse

Returning to Malory Towers that term was hard for June. She realised fully that she had nothing to look forward to there. In the years she had spent there, Felicity was the only girl she had been close to and now, June knew that Felicity would hold true to her word, even after New Year. Maybe it wasn't too late to take Potty's advice, but June felt that apologising so late after the row would seem to Felicity, as if June was doing it only because she missed the company, no matter how true it was.

June spent the first few days of the term sulking. She couldn't truthfully apply any other, more dignified word to her actions. She sulked, until a letter from Alicia disturbed her from her lethargy. It was an unexpected letter, for she and Alicia were certainly not close enough, even as cousins, to maintain a regular correspondence. Her curiosity aroused, June betook herself to a secluded corner of the school, where she opened the envelope and took out two sheets of paper.

_June,_

_I did not tell you properly at home, but thank you. Father is still not happy, but he let me return to St. Andrews under only one condition: to never see Betty again. He still blames her for 'corrupting' me. I have already moved to a new place, away from Betty, to make it seem from distance, as if we had broken up, but you know that nothing like that happened. (That reminds me: please destroy this letter. I do not want anybody but you reading it.)_

_I did not press you about Felicity, but you should make up with her. I feel so old saying this, but you should make the most of the time you have at Malory Towers. It really is the most carefree time you will ever have in your life. So tell Felicity you're sorry, even if you don't mean it. See, I have really taken your advice to heart._

_Thanks again,_

_Alicia_

There was Alicia's new address written on the second sheet with "Write if you need something," added underneath. Since blackmailing her cousin was not something June could ever see herself doing, she complied with Alicia's instructions and tore the letter to little pieces.

However, Alicia's advice about Felicity was most unwelcome. She even considered writing Alicia and telling her to stop worrying, but if she did that, Alicia would know that there actually was a reason to worry. Her advice was not of much use either. Alicia did not know Felicity, nor did she know that Felicity knew June far too well. Felicity was sure to know that June was lying.

Still, the situation with Felicity needed some kind of resolution and June racked her brains in order to find some kind of solution. She wanted to talk to Felicity again, to laugh with her at shared jokes, to spend time piecing together Darrell and Alicia's life at St. Andrews from the little scraps of information that had come their way. She moped shamelessly, not minding that even the little were beginning to notice and laugh about it, whenever they thought that June couldn't hear them.

Felicity, who had as always returned from home looking more radiant and beautiful than before, seemed completely unaffected. She was throwing herself at her duties with her usual vigour, yet still finding enough time to have fun and generally enjoy her life at Malory Towers. Through all this, she was ignoring June, not making a show of it, but never approaching her, never greeting her, never speaking a word to her.

Even as June was getting closer and closer to a decision about what to do, she felt the need to delay that decision. As long as she did not act, she could delude herself that Felicity still cared about her, that in truth, she was just as lonely as June and that her happy exterior was just a mask. However, she knew that it was not true and soon, she couldn't even manage to convince herself to believe in that delusion any longer.

The time has come. June knew that if Felicity had not changed her habits, she usually kept her Thursday afternoons open and used them to study in the First Form classroom that was unused at the time. Few times, June was invited to join Felicity there, after Felicity admitted that she needed tutoring in finer points of one subject or another.

She was lucky, for when she arrived in the classroom, Felicity was helping one of the second formers with schoolwork. When June opened the door and entered, Felicity looked up, looking surprised at seeing June. "Do you have a little time?" asked June.

Felicity hesitated, but then she turned to the second former. "Anne, can you go now?" she asked, "I'll catch you in the evening and we'll finish then, all right?"

The little girl nodded, gathered her things and ran out of the classroom. As soon as she closed the door, Felicity spoke. "Very well, June. What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk with you," said June.

"I thought that we have agreed we don't have anything to say to each other," said Felicity.

"You decided that by yourself," said June, "I didn't want anything like this."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have started arguing," said Felicity, "I can live without your constant contrariness."

"And I can live without your lectures," said June.

"Fine," said Felicity, "If you do not like it when people worry about you, you can go back to moping and being miserable. Don't try to deny it, I saw you."

"Worry about me?" said June, "You're just sticking your nose into everything and refuse to listen when people tell you to back off."

"See?" said Felicity. "This is why it's better for us to not speak with each other. We always end up arguing."

"It wasn't like that before," said June, "We used to talk like friends."

"Used to," said Felicity, "Last term, we could say barely two sentences to each other without arguing."

"You're exaggerating," said June, "We had some fun times even then."

"I am," admitted Felicity, "But the fun was not worth the constant rows."

"I thought it worth your lectures," said June.

"Don't you dare trying to accuse me for all this," said Felicity, "You're just as much at fault as I am."

"You're right, Felicity," said June.

"Did I hear that right?" asked Felicity.

"Yes, you did. I just admitted that I'm also in the wrong here," said June.

Felicity smiled. "That's almost all I want," she said, "June, I'm sorry for lecturing you when you didn't want it."

"I won't say I'm sorry," said June, "If you lectured me again, I would tell you off again."

"Fine!" said Felicity, "If you're going to be so pig-headed, then just stop bothering me and get out! I need to study."

Felicity was trembling, as she said those words. June stepped backwards, afraid of what she might do, but Felicity's self-control was strong. "Just go," said Felicity.

June complied. As she closed the door behind her, she saw the second former, Anne, scurrying away in the corridor. June chased against her, making her stop. "Did you listen?" asked June.

The girl nodded, shrinking away in fear, and June sighed, "Just beat it," said June, "You'll babble to your friends anyway, so just go."

Anne ran away and June started walking the other way. Tears started welling up in her eyes and she angrily wiped them away with her hand. Why couldn't Felicity understand? Had June apologised, Felicity wouldn't believe her. She always knew when June was lying or even only telling half of the truth. When talking with Felicity, lying was futile.

With the tears still coming to her eyes, June knew that she needed to find a secluded place, where she could let her tears out and have a good cry. She was far too old now, to cry before anyone and even then, there was nobody at Malory Towers that June trusted enough. The stables afforded the most privacy, since the school horses were now stabled at Bill and Clarissa's riding school, which was much better equipped for taking care of them. The stables were now used mostly to store various bags of seeds and fertiliser for the garden, too bulky to store in the shed along with other tools. By now, the smell of horses had almost evaporated from the stables, remaining only as a faint, but pleasant reminder of the past.

June snuck into one disused stall, climbing over bags of fertiliser and sat down on the ground in the corner. Then, she finally allowed herself to cry with all her might. Tears were flowing in a torrent and June was letting them. She cried and sobbed, no longer caring that even hiding in that secluded spot, someone might hear her. When she finally ran out of tears, June felt relieved. She was no longer sad, nor angry. In fact, she no longer had enough strength to feel sad, so tired she was from all the crying.

"June?" asked a voice suddenly and June lifted her head, seeing Susan standing behind the wall made of bags.

"June?" repeated Susan, "Are you all right? What happened?"

"Go away," said June, "Felicity told you not to talk with me, didn't she?"

"Is this about Felicity?" asked Susan and climbed across the bags to sit at June's side.

"I told you to go away," said June, "You don't want Felicity getting mad at you, do you?"

"I am not doing things only because Felicity tells me, you know," said Susan, "You were crying just now, weren't you?"

"Can't you see?" asked June turning her face towards Susan to show her red, puffy eyes.

"June, I just want to help you," said Susan.

"Oh, why can't you and Felicity just mind your own business and leave others alone," said June.

"So this is about Felicity, right?" said Susan.

"Yes, yes it is," said June, "If you need details, just ask her. I am sure she will be glad to tell you."

"She will just tell me you had another row," said Susan, "She doesn't tell me everything, you know."

"That's all you need to know," said June, "She's right, you don't need to know everything."

"Why do you have to be so stubborn, June?" asked Susan, "It's clear that you're upset, please, let me help you."

"I don't want your help," said June, "So please, leave me alone!"

"Please," said Susan, "I can't leave you like that, I'd be worrying about it all night."

"You're doing this because you want to feel better about yourself?" asked June.

Susan nodded. "That's part of it," she admitted, "But it's not as if I'm not worried about you."

"I'll tell you," said June, "Felicity and I had a row. I went to talk with her, she wanted me to apologise for something and I couldn't."

"You couldn't apologise?" said Susan, "Is it really that hard?"

"I would be lying," said June, "And Felicity always knows when I lie."

Susan sighed. "Sorry June," she said, "I can't help you with this. Sorry that I pushed you into telling me, when I can't even do anything about it."

"Can you go away now?" asked June, although she felt it sounded a bit too harsh.

"Oh, sure," said Susan, "Sorry for bothering you."

With that, Susan climbed back over the bags, leaving June once again alone in the silent stables. June was thankful for that. At least Susan knew when to leave someone alone, unlike Felicity who would have pushed June until they would end in yet another fight. The time for dinner was already very close, when June emerged from the stables, looking calm and composed. When she saw Felicity at the dinner, she did not react, instead she just smiled at Susan, partly because she felt grateful that Susan knew when to leave her alone, and partly because she wanted Felicity to know that something happened between her and Susan.

If Felicity noticed, she gave no sign of it. Why was she so calm, when June was so disturbed by their latest row? Was this because that unlike June, she allowed Susan to comfort her? At the moment, June wanted nothing more than having someone to talk to. She briefly considered writing to Alicia, but decided against it, knowing fully well that the reply would arrive too late to offer any comfort. While Felicity was laughing and enjoying the meal with other girls, June ate her food in silence, not noticing the taste and brooding over her thoughts.


	4. 04 Courage

The very next morning, everything seemed fine to June. As she woke up and realised that, she immediately thought it peculiar. She was so miserable the previous evening, so why was she almost happy now? Sleeping through the entire night did certainly help, but that alone could not account for the recovery of her spirits. Maybe it was that the yesterday's conversation with Felicity assuaged some of her doubts. Maybe she was even stronger than she had previously thought.

June was able to face Felicity with her head held high, earning a queer look from Susan. Maybe Susan thought that June would be still upset. If that was the case, then she was mistaken. There would be no more breakdowns like the day before. She would steel herself and not allow Felicity to affect her like that ever again.

Still, she was watching Felicity stealthily to see, if she had noticed the change in June. Felicity did not give any outward sign, but Susan seemed affected more than her friend. Susan did not approach June with any questions, but sometimes when June was listening to their conversations from distance, she was sure that she had heard Susan speak her name. It was gratifying to know that Susan worried about her and June did not hesitate to admit that to herself. After all, she had decided to not let Felicity affect her, not Susan.

Her resolution endured for several days, then first cracks started to appear in it. She wondered whether Felicity minded Susan talking about June. Did hearing June's name make Felicity miss June? Felicity was slowly but surely creeping back into June's thoughts and June did not try very hard to fight against her. Whenever she was idle, her mind turned to Felicity, remembering the old times. Old times? It sounded so silly and sentimental. The "Old times" weren't even so far back, just a few months.

Should she make another attempt at reconciliation with Felicity? Maybe, just maybe, Felicity still cared for June. Should she just ask Susan what Felicity thought? No, no, June did not want Susan to see yet another moment of her weakness, as she almost resented her for seeing her after crying in the stables. Could anybody else know about Felicity's thoughts? June couldn't think of anybody. Susan was Felicity's special friend and even she admitted that Felicity did not tell her everything. Was Felicity, perhaps, more inclined to share those matters with her sister? Again, writing to Alicia presented itself as an option, but June knew that she was too impatient to wait for Alicia's reply about what she had found out from Darrell. No, if she were to make another attempt, it would have to be soon.

Indecision was unlike June. Answers were always easy for her to find, but now, she was beginning to get used to it. She was also not used to nursing false hopes, but now, the hope that Felicity still cared was becoming more and more false with each passing day. Soon, June felt, that hope would disappear altogether. She had to act before that.

It was Thursday again, one week after their last fight, when June once more approached the First Form classroom. When she reached for the door handle, she noticed that her hand was trembling. She drew it back and took a few deep breaths to steady and compose herself. She even closed her eyes, fully concentrating on becoming calm once again.

"June," said Susan's voice suddenly, "Are you going to talk to Felicity?"

June immediately opened her eyes. "Susan," she said.

"I want to talk to her as well," said Susan, "But it can wait."

"Why do you care?" asked June.

"I can't help it," said Susan, "I always worry when I shouldn't, even when I don't want to."

June sighed. "I don't really understand you," she said, "But thank you, Susan. I'm going inside."

She grabbed the door handle and opened the door. As expected, Felicity was in there, studying diligently. When Felicity heard the door, she didn't even lift her head. "Is that you, Susan?" she asked.

The words did not come easily to June. "No, it's me," she said quietly.

There was a moment of silence. "You want to talk again?" replied Felicity, also quietly.

"I do," said June, "Can I sit down?"

Felicity nodded and waited until June pulled out a chair for herself. "Why do you want to talk?" she said.

"I wanted to explain myself," said June.

"Explain yourself? What do you mean?" asked Felicity.

"Why I can't apologise to you for what I said," said June.

"I… I'm willing to listen," said Felicity.

"Thank you," said June, but she did not continue. She needed a little more time to prepare herself. Felicity seemed to understand, for she did not say anything, letting June take her time.

"I can't apologise," began June, "Because I would be lying. You always knew, whenever I was lying."

"I did?" said Felicity, "I don't know. I'm never sure when I'm with you."

"You're that suspicious of me?" said June.

"Sorry," said Felicity, then she took a deep breath, "You know, I am always worrying about you, one way or the other."

"You never let me forget that," said June.

"June, please," said Felicity, "I do not want to have another fight."

"Sorry," said June automatically.

"Don't worry about it," said Felicity, "As long as you understand."

"Felicity," said June, "Do you understand why I couldn't apologise?"

Felicity nodded. "But that means, you're willing to tell me off at any time," she said.

"You need telling off sometimes," said June, "And Susan is not going to do that."

"If you only knew," said Felicity, "She nearly talked my head off the last week, asking about what had happened."

"You did not tell her?" asked June.

Felicity shook her head. "It's not easy talking about you with Susan, or anyone for the matter."

When she heard those words, June could not help but smile. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?" asked Felicity.

"For caring," said June.

"You do not seem to thank me, when I do something because I care about you," said Felicity.

"Do you mean those lectures?" asked June.

"Of course," said Felicity, "Do you think I would bother with someone as obstinate as you, if I didn't care about you?"

June smiled. "It seems that you still need to learn how to say things with tact," she said.

"If Darrell's example taught me anything," said Felicity, "It's that there are always more faults in my personality to fix."

"Is that why you're trying to fix others?" asked June.

"I'm not trying to fix anyone!" said Felicity, "I'm just trying to make you think about the consequences of what you do."

"Just me?" said June.

"Yes, just you," said Felicity, "You could do so much better, if you just thought a bit more beforehand."

"I always think," said June, "I always know the consequences."

"And you don't care?" asked Felicity.

"Why should I care about what others think about me?" said June, "The consequences are never too bad. Annoying at worst."

"I give up," said Felicity, "You're incorrigible."

"Does that mean you no longer care?" asked June.

Felicity shook her head. "No, I still care for you," she said.

"And I care about you," admitted June.

"I know," said Felicity, "Why else would you come here again?"

June laughed. "Thank you," she said again.

"I take it everything's good again," said Felicity.

June nodded. "Susan is waiting outside," she said, "Shall we tell her the news?"

"Is she?" said Felicity and went to open the door, looking outside. "Susan, come in."

Susan immediately understood that June and Felicity had repaired their relationship, since she smiled brilliantly when she entered the classroom. "So you've made up," said Susan, "I'm glad."

"That's about it," said June, "You're not going to be jealous, are you?"

"Should I?" asked Susan, "I'm not, if you're not going to take Felicity again."

"I probably won't," said June.

"Probably?" interjected Felicity, "I'm not giving up Susan, even if you ask me."

"Then I won't ask," said June, "But I should probably allow you to study again, since I've bothered you two times in a row."

With this, June stood up, smiled at both Felicity and Susan and left the classroom.


	5. 05 Confession

June almost immediately wrote a letter to Alicia, telling her that she and Felicity were friends once again. Alicia deserved to know, she thought, after all, she worried about it, even though June had declined to tell her the details. However, she didn't allude to Betty in the letter, knowing better than to pry into her cousin's privacy.

Life at Malory Towers was once more fun, now that Felicity was talking to June again. It was so nice to have Felicity again, laughing and playful, as if the rift between them, now filled, had never existed. No, it wasn't like that. Both June and Felicity were a bit more careful around each other. Felicity was careful not to lecture June about her behaviour and June was attempting to watch herself around Felicity, knowing that the consequences of another row could mean a definite end.

Sometimes, when Felicity went somewhere with Susan, June retreated into some private spot and sank into a brooding mood. Somehow, she decided that being friends with Felicity was not enough. She thought of Alicia and Betty, so close to each other, even long after they have both left the school. They mentioned kissing each other, didn't they? What would kissing Felicity be like? She thought that she wanted to experience it firsthand, but the fear that she had thought subdued appeared once again, the fear of rejection. When she came upon that thought, whatever courage she had had deserted her. She couldn't bear losing Felicity again, yet she knew that their current friendship was not enough for her. And what about Susan? Maybe she and Felicity were already… No, that couldn't be. June shook her head to rid herself of that idea.

Felicity. June now felt guilty whenever she looked at her lately, realising how selfish it was to want Felicity all for herself. Again, June felt the acute need for action, but managed to overcome it. Why shouldn't she be content with what she already had? Yet, the more she tried to convince herself that she was content, the more doubts she had. In the end, she decided to write Alicia and ask for help. Was that the right course of action? Maybe not, but after what she witnessed during the Christmas at Alicia's home, she wasn't sure she could trust anyone else than Alicia in this.

_Alicia,_

_Sorry that I'm bothering you, but there's something I want to ask about. It's about Betty. How did you two get together? No, you'll figure it out anyway. It's not about Betty; it's about Felicity. I'm quite sure that I am in love with her. Tell me, what should I do. I do not know._

_June_

After she sent the letter, June could do nothing else but wait. Soon, doubts again assaulted her. When did Alicia suddenly become someone, June asked for advice? When did she even start asking for advice? June was always proud of how independent she was, how in the end, when time came to make a decision, she did not have to rely on anyone but herself.

June's pride was wounded. Alicia's advice, whatever it would be, suddenly seemed unwelcome. She had to deal with this alone, before she received a reply from Alicia. By then, she might act against the advice, out of sheer defiance and contrariness. In one brief, mad moment, she considered sneaking some alcohol into Malory Towers to get a bit drunk before talking to Felicity. However, that foolish idea was quickly banished.

There was one, absolute certainty. She had to act and act soon. Before she could act though to meet Felicity alone. Even Susan, especially Susan, would be an unwelcome audience. But what would be the appropriate place? Not the First Form classroom, too much had happened there already and it was Felicity's space. The school grounds? No, too open and June was afraid that someone might see. Where then? Finally, June had decided. When June asked Felicity to join her on a night walk to the pool, Felicity looked surprised, but agreed quickly enough and did not even caution June that it would be breaking the rules.

It seemed like ages before the other girls fell asleep and June and Felicity could sneak out of the school. They were even further delayed by gathering and putting on some warm clothes. Even though no snow lay on the ground, it was still winter and the nights were cold, almost freezing.

June's romantic senses, dulled both by the regime at Malory Towers and her own disposition, could still appreciate the moonlit, wintry landscape, illuminate by the crescent moon and countless stars. That night was exceptionally cold, clouds of steam were rising from June and Felicity's breathing, and the pool was freezing over. Felicity did not protest, when June did not stop at the pool. June took Felicity's hand and they walked together without a destination, except maybe for that dark silhouette of bare tree, rising against the moonlit sky. Neither one of them spoke, not until they were far enough from Malory Towers that they could see both the completely dark school building an, in greater distance, Bill and Clarissa's riding school, where one window still shone into the night.

"June," said Felicity, "Why did you ask me to come?"

June took a deep breath. The cold air had a calming effect on her, since when she spoke, her voice was not trembling, as she was afraid it would. "I wanted to tell you something."

"You had taken me all the way here just because you wanted to tell me something?" asked Felicity, "Then it is important."

"It is," said June, "Felicity, I love you."

"I know," said Felicity, "You didn't hide it very well."

"I did not try to hide anything," said June, for lack of anything better to say in face of Felicity's declaration.

"You were still obvious," said Felicity, "But you're also lucky."

"You mean…" said June.

Felicity nodded. "Why do you think I never gave up on you? If anybody else was as obstinate as you, I would have left you alone long ago."

"So why didn't you say anything?" asked June.

"I wasn't sure," said Felicity, "I suppose I was afraid."

"You pushed all the responsibility on me?" said June.

"Don't be like that," said Felicity, "I really wasn't sure."

"It doesn't matter now," said June, "Everything's settled, isn't it?"

"Yes," said Felicity, "Yes, it is."

"It's cold," said June, "Shall we go back?"

Felicity nodded and extended her hand to June. Even through the gloves, Felicity's hand felt comfortingly warm and so hand in hand, the two of them started back to school, even though June, with each step wanted to return less and less. It may have been beastly cold, but in the night, the world seemed to belong to June and Felicity alone. By returning to school, they would return back to the ordinary world. Would the words said during this night disappear upon returning?

It was a silly fear. Felicity always meant what she said. There was no way she would ever change her mind. Still, June wanted to be sure. When they entered the school building and removed their winter caps, June leaned in and kissed Felicity. Felicity did not draw away. June was reassured.

After the kiss ended, neither June nor Felicity said anything about it. Without a word, they returned to their dormitory and to their beds. It did not take long for June to fall asleep, completely contented and without worries.

The next day, there was a letter for June, from Alicia. Although whatever advice it might have contained was no longer needed, June still looked forward to reading it. The first free moment she had, she opened the envelope.

_Oh June,_

_I have no idea what to say to you. You probably have little idea about what kind of trouble you could have. I can't even say anything to dissuade you, Heaven know nothing would have dissuaded me from Betty._

_Anyway, Felicity is a good girl. You're smart; you'll know what to do. Just don't get too smart, that was always your biggest fault._

_Alicia_

_P.S. I've burned your letter. You should do the same with this one._

There was not much else to do. She destroyed Alicia's letter, just like the previous one. She knew that if that letter got to Alicia's father, it could end up in a disaster. In reply, she only wrote a short note to Alicia, simply thanking her and saying that everything went great, without providing any details.

When Felicity saw June after she had read the letter, she seemed surprised at how dispirited June looked. However, June buried all her worries about the future deep inside herself, kissed Felicity and arm in arm, they walked out of the school to enjoy the first, feeble signs of coming spring.


End file.
